** The HypnoBirthing experience blog posts are personal posts done by a CEPT staff member. Please keep in mind that these are personal opinions and experiences and may not apply to everyone.
So I know that’s it’s been a while since you last heard from me. My first trimester has come and gone, and now I’m 26 weeks along.
That’s right, over halfway there!
I can’t believe how fast time has flown! I’m feeling huge already and with the growth of my belly has come all the issues that I feel like I had with my last pregnancy: low back pain, tailbone pain, swollen feet, round ligament pains, the list goes on and on. But, oh well, this little baby is so worth it!
And since it’s been so long since my last post, I bet you are all wondering if we found out the gender…. and our sweet little baby is….
I’m so excited for another little boy and I already know that Ian is going to love having a little brother!
So, the last post that I had done I had been listening to the Hypnobirthing tracks that Jolene had provided for me. Those have been great, when I remember to do them. Rainbow Relaxation, when I do remember to listen to it and I’m not already passed out from a long day, is great. My body literally feels like it’s melting into my bed. Listening to the Birthing Affirmations in the morning has been tough to do with Ian. He wakes up so early and needs that constant attention, so I haven’t been keeping up with that one so much. But now that I’m progressing in my pregnancy, I honestly am trying harder to do these!
I’ve also begun and finished reading my “Hypnobirthing Manual”, Hypnobirthing: The Mongan Method, written by the amazing Marie Mongan herself! When I first got this book, I was expecting something along the lines of a textbook (even though it looks nothing like a textbook). I usually love reading and I’m all about birthing books and books that will teach me what to expect with my pregnancy. (I probably read What To Expect When You’re Expecting two or three time during my first pregnancy.)
This Hypnobirthing book was absolutely AMAZING!
At a little more than halfway through, this book altered the way that I thought about Hypnobirthing. Not only was it so informative about what Hypnobirthing is all about, but Marie Mongan provides personal stories that have completely impacted my mindset on this whole experience.
I’m totally one of those people that tag each chapter so I can easily find it if I want to review! Here’s a picture to show you just what I mean. I had to mark off all the Hypnobirthing techniques, so I could easily find them if needed.
There were a couple of quotes that really stuck out with me that I wanted to share with you all:
Well, I guess the first thing that I wanted to share is this chart from the manual that distinguishes ‘HypnoBirthing Language’ from ‘Medicalized Language’:
So I think that all parents should check out this list and take note to the differences in how each terminology makes them feel. For example, when I think ‘coach’, I think of someone yelling at me and telling me what to do versus a ‘birthing companion’, someone that is by my side, helping to support me. Or the term ‘contractions’ makes me automatically think pain versus ‘uterine waves or surges’ which makes me think of the beach and something not as scary!
Take some time, read them over, possibly (and highly recommended) update your own vocabulary!
Moving on to the first quote that I wanted to share with you:
They were oblivious to the fact that every word they spoke instilled more fear into the minds of vulnerable mothers.
Having already have been through the birthing process, this hit close to me.
People don’t always realize that when you’re talking to a pregnant woman that sometimes the things you say are imprinting into her mind. And I’ve always found that more people are willing to share their scary-as-hell stories rather than the positive ones. I’ll even admit that I love telling my birth story about my epidural wearing off because I feel like I conquered my worst fear better than I could have ever imagined, yet I forget that more than half the time I’m telling a mom who, from my whole story, only heard “my epidural wore off”.
Shame on me.
And it’s not just family and friends that do it, birthing professionals are just as guilty. Especially those who don’t have much experience with Hypnobirthing. So, always remember if you have horror birthing stories, PLEASE for the sake of all pregnant women of the world, KEEP THEM TO YOURSELF! Or at least until after I give birth, then spill away!
This next quote I just found perfect and I can totally relate:
When I looked into my baby’s eyes for the first time I knew at that moment what real love actually is.” – Maura Geddes (Marie Mongan’s daughter)
I remember the second the doctor placed Ian on my chest after he was born. His face was a little swollen, he peed and pooed on me and I couldn’t help but cry because I was so happy.
He was beautiful.
I love my family and my friends, I love my husband more than you could ever imagine, but the love for your child is different than all those kinds of love. I wish I could describe it; it’s deep, unwavering and pure.
I’m sure all the other parents of the world (whether your children you birthed, or are adopted, or ANYTHING!) know what I’m talking about and I hope that all of you that read this will one day too be able to feel that kind of love.
It changes you.
I will accept whatever turn my birthing takes me.
So this was a big one for me, especially being a second-time mom.
My first pregnancy I went in with a plan. I had this whole story of how my birth would go that I would constantly play out in my head.
I was told that I would know I was in labor when I was screaming and writhing in pain from my contractions; that’s how I would know it was time to be admitted into the hospital.
Exactly what a new to-be mom wants to hear, right?
But that’s what I expected.
I remember being in Labor and Delivery after having consistent contractions (sadly, it was just not the time) and when I was getting ready to leave, seeing a woman and man at the L&D nurses station. The man was in a panic trying to answer questions and fill out paperwork as the woman, I kid you not, was standing at the counter next to him screaming and bending over in pain. I was told that’s what I was to expect when I was ready to give birth.
So I expected the pain.
And there was pain.
But then I had my epidural just like I had been planning from the beginning and it was euphoric…. at first.
And that is where the quote really struck.
I didn’t want to believe that the pain I began to feel in my right leg was happening, it wasn’t part of the plan. I didn’t expect to feel the pain, pressure and fatigue I felt as a prepared and birthed my sweet little boy. I was supposed to just lay there and not feel anything. Or at least that’s what I imagined was supposed to happen.
But things happen for a reason, and there’s nothing you can do to change them.
You just have to roll with the circumstances that you are given.
When I found out that my epidural had worn off and I had just given birth naturally, I was, at first, dumbstruck. How?! Why me? But now I believe that whoever or whatever is out there, showed me that I’m stronger than I ever thought I was.
And in the end, it was all worth it. Ian was worth it.
Your plan may not happen like you want it to, but that doesn’t mean it was all for nothing.
Whether a birth story is a happy birth story or a not-so-happy birth story, it reveals the importance of parents taking the responsibility of know how they want to experience the arrival of their babies, whether their birthing takes place in a hospital, a birthing center, or in a home.
I may have had my own birth plan, but when I was admitted into the hospital when I went into labor, I let the nurses and doctor take the reins. I gave them a generalized path of what I was hoping would happen and let them do what they do. They were in charge, they know what’s best, right?
Well, I’m now learning that I have more power in my birthing process than I ever thought.
And I may be the one carrying the baby, but that doesn’t mean that Taylor doesn’t have a major say in how things play out too. He’s been so supportive of my choice to do Hypnobirthing and throughout my pregnancy. He has such a huge role in this too.
My last birth, my hospital room had 8+ people in the room at all times, from family to friends to nurses and medical staff. It was overwhelming, but that’s what I thought I wanted at the time. It was my first birth, first baby in the family in a long time and everyone wanted to be there. I couldn’t say no. They were all there until right before I started pushing and I made everyone leave, it was just to be me, Taylor, and my mom for Ian’s birth.
This birth, Taylor and I have made an agreement that it will be just us. Just me and Taylor when our new little one comes into this world. We’re probably going to rely on our parents to spread the news of the incoming baby so we can just focus on our little family, even if just for a little while.
Taylor went to all our Hypnobirthing classes (which my next blog post will be about! So stay tuned!) and was absolutely amazing and supportive through all of them. He sat, listened, participated; he was all in with me. I’m so excited for this birth because I know that it will not only grow our little family, but it will also grow Taylor and my relationship in such a deep way.
We’re making these decisions together that never really crossed my mind during our first birth. A birth and an experience that is not only more gentle and natural for me, but also for my baby. And I’m excited for what’s in store!
14 estimated weeks left until our little boy makes his debut!
So stay tuned for my next blog post, where I go through our Hypnobirthing classes!